Snowflakes From The Heart
by Alana-Lou
Summary: Its neither the calm nor the peace that they are drawn to, rather the beauty within…A Lily and James story, where hope is of the essence and where trying to overcome loss becomes the path to find themselves. Hopefully its not as bad as this summary sounds
1. A Parallel Heaven

Hey!! This is my first story on here so please review and tell me what you think!! even if its not so great!..Oh whilst im doin this though, i feel like i should put something about Lily, James and Sirius all being J.K.Rowlings characters so...well there we go!!

Thanx for reading this and pleeeeeeeaaaasse tell me what you thought! hyperactivity sets it!!

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'I'm sorry' He stuttered, glancing up from the floor in to emerald pools of sorrow.

She simply looked away, holding back tears, 'There was nothing you could have done…'

Lily swept her books off the table, swinging her bag on to her back; she managed to un-stick her feet from the harsh stones below and scatter her remaining quills over the floor. James stood frozen, as her wand crashed to the floor and a single tear slid silently down her cheek.

'Please,' she whispered as James neared her. 'Please, just leave me alone…'

James retreated along the length of the corridor neither knowing nor caring where he was destined. As he climbed the final staircase, he sat motionless staring past the sky through the lonesome window.

Lily slid her bag off her shoulder, uncharacteristically spilling it's contents next to her bed, and climbed on to her window sill staring in to the horizon, beyond the forbidden forest and in to the distance. Her eyes grew tired and her chest grew tight as she released the tears, which had welled up, inside her heart.

She drifted uneasily in to an unsettled sleep dreaming of the ones she loved, those who had died so that she could live. Waking, she fought to keep their portraits in her mind until finally their pictures grew still and she was forced to leave them behind.

Opening her eyes, Lily shivered in the morning light. Snowflakes glistened as they drifted peacefully through the air, gracefully entwining within a carpet of white oblivious to the pain that they were so innocently causing her young heart. She no longer saw life as those around her did. They saw hope, where she saw nothing.

She thought silently, as the school emerged from the castle, happiness in their eyes, laughter infectiously spreading amongst them, uncontrollably leaving their troubles behind as they lay in the snow, life is in those snowflakes. She smiled, as though for everyone below to see. But she was alone. She laughed, as her eyes caught up with her lungs, but her dry rasping throat did not lie.

"There is a rush of movement as each flake rises and falls," she spoke, her smile fading. "Inevitably, that snowflake will melt, the sun will shine, and the day will move on." She paused as something rustled behind her, but stayed motionless leaning on the windowpane, piteously watching a first year play. After what seemed like an eternity, Lily continued, never losing sight of the innocent Griffindor's that she had learnt to love. "No one will remember these snowflakes." She whispered in to the silence.

More movement beside her caused her to sigh in envy.

"The snowflakes do nothing more than make the snow," the shadow beside her replied solemnly.

Allowing a final tear to escape her eyes, she said, " You don't understand," she began. "It's not the snow that harms us, without that snowflake…" she paused and watched it fall and disappear forever, "without that snowflake, …" she turned and looked in to his chocolate eyes, full of worry and yet full of strength. She gazed motionless for sometime before forgetting her trail of thought…

"They wouldn't be dead." She managed at last. Throwing herself roughly into James arms, closing her dry eyes and resting her head on his chest, as his arms protected her from every evil of the world. She had never been safer, and ultimately had never felt so unsafe.

"They're dead," she cried, silently, her chest rising and falling within the confines of James' strong embrace. They stood motionless for sometime. Lily's words reflected from every crevice of his mind until the only thing he could do was close his eyes and hold her tighter.

It's strange, ironic really, how such a small, delicate entity could become so deadly James thought, letting the snowflakes drift painlessly through his fingertips before letting them end their journey to the parallel heavens.

He allowed himself to be drawn into the beauty, the splendour, the magnificence, but then he forget.

As he gazed into the distance, he no longer saw any sign of hope. Storms billow in to the horizon, arguments that will never be settled, voices that will never be heard. He knew this only too well, yet to dwell on it would only make his parents smiling faces harder to forget.

Yes, the snow will fall, the ice will melt, the sun will shine. But one day, that 'snow' will return.

Life is in those snowflakes.

He lay in the snow, staring at the sun blinding him from his senses, as an icy cold feeling shot through his skull and down through his spine.

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Just as a small hint...please review!!! but most of all...Thanx for reading this,

lv Alana

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	2. Too Many Bruises

Thanx sooo much if your reading this!! does anyone else feel a slight sense of deja vu?? ..well anyway, thanx again! and dont forget to review and tell me what you thought, no matter how bad!

I would go through a summary of the last chapter,..but its not as if it was exceptionally long..(i havent quite got the hang of this yet hav i? ) and anyway according to my reviews..is that spelt wrong..? hmm only one person has read it anyway.. but thank you anyway!

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"What was the point?" screamed James, mercilessly enchanting a rather large snowball to chase Sirius before finally hitting him between the eyes as he tumbled extremely elegantly in to 3-foot snowdrift. James chuckled as he caught him up and peered piteously down at his friend. No one except he, could be covered in snow and yet remain calm and composed with a glint of excitement shining in his eyes.

"Give it up!" he declared as a stone of white crashed in to his chest, winding him and throwing him backwards, yet again staring at the sun.

A head appeared from the depths of the hole beside his feet. "You should know by now, James! I always get the last laugh!" he chuckled, winking at a group of second year girls giggling uncontrollably at the helpless sight before them.

"And you should know," retorted James calmly, whilst ruffling his already unruly mass of hair, and creating, if possible, an even more indecisive style. "That you should Never mess with the master!"

Summoning his wand under his cloak, he caused the wall on which Sirius was trying to escape, to suddenly collapse, causing yet more laughter from the surrounding students and the tree above to deposit its icy blanket on top, missing his ankles by inches.

With that, James pulled himself up and attempted to walk back to the castle stifling the urge to laugh at his struggling friend. Sirius' head emerging from the snowy ground, his teeth chattering obviously looked more than hilarious as one of the second years collapsed suddenly, gasping for breath as he winked once more.

"This isn't over James!" he cried, once more being buried under a carpet of white.

"It never is," he smiled. Sirius grinned over at the various groups of girls…

"So which one of you lovely ladies are going to help me out?"

James rolled his eyes and took one more step towards to the entrance hall.

Some things never change.

Lily clung to her knees behind the curtains to her bed. "This is silly," she told herself sternly. As she finally gathered the courage to leave the confines of her dormitory, Lily took one final glance over at the window that she had locked herself behind, and emerged in to the common room. In to the real world once more.

Paris stared in to the amber flames, her eyes glazing over, worrying continuously about her best friend. She had no idea what to do. If she condoled her, she was afraid that she was being patronising, but what about Lily? … This was in fact all about Lily…

She sighed and let her thoughts drift into the fireplace, swaying in the open flames.

Enough was enough, she had to see her, and she had to help her through this, no matter what.

Slowly, she watched her feet periodically rise on to the staircase and carry her up, as her mind flitted from one scenario to the next. As she reached the top of the stairs, her feet carried on rising before her preoccupied mind could stall them, she fell. Clinging to the banister for dear life, she cursed herself for being so stupid, and curiously peered over the side as she heard a stifled laughter from the doorway.

"What you doin'?" Lily giggled at her friend holding on to the handrail with white knuckles.

"Oh, you know," Paris, replied calmly, as a smile spread across Lily's face for the fist time in days, "h..hangin' out," she stuttered as she replaced her footing, unfortunately catching her robes underneath and throwing herself awkwardly back down the stairs, landing in a crumpled and painful heap at the bottom.

"I don't believe you wanted to do that," called Lily cautiously … standing on tiptoes to see her contorted form from the top of the stairs.

"Nah doesn't look like the most comfortable position I have to say. Next time I advise the couch, they are unbelievable comfy…" Sirius eyed her suspiciously and stepped over her rather dishevelled form before seating himself in an armchair.

"Gee thanks for that Sirius..." she glared sarcastically. " I know I wanted to cheer Lily up, but was there not a less painful way?!" she muttered subconsciously, as she removed her broken quill from stabbing her in the back, before daring to uncoil her twisted limbs.

"Need a hand?" asked James watching her with slight amusement as he clambered through the portrait hole in to the cosy common room, shaking his hair so that water penetrated his robes even further and sprayed Paris with partially melted ice bombs.

"You know, I think you've done enough," she mumbled incoherently. "Strangely, I think you've done enough!" shivering she made her way over to the fireplace, dragging the nearest armchair with her.

"Oooh!! An armchair!!" Sirius marvelled as she proceeded to draw it nearer to the warmth.

"What?!" cried Paris indignantly. " You've already got one!"

"Yes… true. But this ones sooo much nicer," blinked Sirius innocently he dove across the arm, causing her to slip on to the floor and adding to her numerous bruises.

"Sirius!!"

"Yes?" he asked fluttering his eyelashes.

She simply rolled her eyes and sat on him.

"HEY!!"

James waited patiently, as Lily made her way down the stairs. It felt so odd, for him to be so excited that she was doing something he'd seen her do one thousand times before, that he just stared in awe as she laughed as Paris sat on Sirius's back, causing many in the common room to take a sharp intake of breath. Sirius included.

As she reached the last step, she turned to James and smiled. A smile, that radiated warmth yet only proved to deepen the pain in her eyes.

"Shall we go outside?" Lily asked, looking towards James.

"YES!" The twosome screamed simultaneously from the other side of the room… momentarily bounding out of the portrait hole and down the corridor.

James watched as the snowflakes glisted, entwining themselves within an amber fire, settling peacefully upon a head of gold as they slowly melted away into nothing.

Finally being outside she cast her eyes over the relatively peaceful landscape that Paris and Sirius were destroying. Caught within an unnatural snowstorm she waited for them to fall.

"Nice weather," she stated looking up at James as she threw snow into his newly messed up hair. Amazed, his eyes widened as she ducked, to allow another two to hit him directly in the face.

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Don't Forget To Review!!

Thanx!!

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	3. As Long As You're Happy

Hope you havent been put off already by my lack of plot.. but still, please review and tell me how badly I'm doing!

Thanx Again!! I hope you like it, and OMG i nearly forgot!! Thank you to my TWO reviewers!! MandiMccall and Blondie..aka something i cant at this moment in time remember...(apoligies), but thank you soo much! Although i wouldnt turn down a few more..HINT HINT

xxx

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"Yes?" whispered Paris through the darkness irritably as Lily sat bolt upright in her bed for what seemed like the four hundredth time that night.

"What wondrous vision has thou hadst now?" rolling her eyes she lay blind in the darkness, propping her head up against her hand, in anticipation of another sleepless night.

"I've just thought," muttered Lily, tears evidently caught in her throat. Instantly regretting her immediate reaction Paris reached for her wand, which she knocked from under a cushion and proceeded to roll across the wooden floor towards her friend.

"I have nowhere to live…" Lily sobbed silently in to her bed sheets, pulling them up to her eyes and covering her mouth as she imagined herself locked in the cupboard of her aunts immaculate semi somewhere in Devon.

"Of course you do!" cried Paris as soon as her brain translated Lily's words into a message understandable at 3 o clock in the morning. "You really expect me to watch you move to an orphanage?" She followed her wand over to the side of Lily's bed and drew back the heavy curtains letting moonlight filter over them both.

"I guess not." She drew back her tears as the rest of the dormitory sighed sleepily, oblivious to the torture that their friends were suffering.

She leant her head on Paris' shoulders as she drifted back to sleep, tears soaking her satin pyjamas, but Paris couldn't sleep. She simply stared unblinking in to the darkness that was cast into the room as the moonlight drifted from one window to the other.

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Sirius twiddled his thumbs aimlessly, sighing occasionally and humming subconsciously, as his eyes flitted over the room and its occupants.

"What EXACTLY is it, that you're waiting for?" commented James from the darkness to his right, appearing somewhat annoyed.

"Oh…I didn't realise you were awake," Sirius replied casually.

"I wasn't!" he replied, refusing to open his eyes to the distant sun and forcing his face in amongst his pillows. "But as you appear to be, and as you seem to be completely ignorant of the fact that some of us are…" he said casting his arm awkwardly behind him to signify the rest of the peacefully sleeping Griffindors then using it to hide behind as he turned towards his 'friend' at this ungodly hour.

"…well I think I'm gonna have to deal with it!" Sirius nodded absentmindedly towards the middle of the room. "So?"

"Hmm?" he questioned, his face turning towards James, desperately trying to remember if he was suppost to remind him of something. "You're awake," he stated simply.

"Yes.." rolling his eyes and sighing simultaneously he rolled back into the middle of his bed, allowing his eyes to adjust to the light. "We just about gathered that. Now you were about to tell me what it is that's bothering you before I tie you the whomping willow!"…Slowly, he thought about what he had said. "First thing in the morning, that is." He added as he fought to remain conscious.

"How do I know…" whispered Sirius to himself more than anyone.

"You know, usually I'm very good at stuff like this," James said randomly. "But if you don't explain what the hell it is that's wrong, then I'm afraid I cant help!" he concluded.

From the depths of silence, a strained voice brought James out of his misery.

"What he's trying, and unfortunately failing to say," Remus began, evidently trying to hide a certain amount of sleep deprivation. "Is that, he 'thinks' that he is in 'like' with Paris, but how can he possibly know what he feels or what she feels about him."

"How did you possibly get that from his incessant humming?" asked James genuinely. Remus simply shrugged from inside his bed hangings.

Silence pursued as they allowed Sirius to stare blankly through the window on to the Quidditch pitch once more.

"He keep you awake too?"

"Something like that." He replied.

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James watched blankly, his eyelids drooping as Sirius bounced around the common room, duelling comically with the object of his desires. "How is it?" James muttered sleepily, sliding further into his chair, "That he keeps me awake, and then manages to muster all that energy?!"

"Who knows…" whispered Lily into his ear as she perched on the arm of his chair and tilted her head as Paris animatedly ducked under Sirius's spell, causing a 3rd year to head butt the notice board that they were reading, whilst turning him purple and retreating to the settee next to James and Lily. Her eyes bloodshot, she smiled weakly as James pulled Lily on to his lap leaning his head on her shoulder as she stroked his hair absentmindedly.

"Cute," she thought as Sirius joined Paris on the couch, dramatically falling over the arm and resting his head on her legs, which she automatically objected to, before he took hold of the hands she was flailing in his face and pulled them down to his chest, closing his eyes and smiling.

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Paris slowly let herself drift away, as Sirius stroked her fingers gently. The amber flames shone distantly as her head tilted towards the back of the chair, her suddenly empty hands groping the soft robes in front of her, until she found Sirius's hand reaching out for hers.

Sirius smiled as realisation settled in…

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Please review!! Make me day! ...

Alana

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	4. There's Always Next Time

Well im back! Hope you liked the last chapter, and this one too obviously, i cant decide if i like it or not though as i wrote it in the dark last night, hiding under my duvet and trying to avoid getting ink in my bed. And now when i SHOULD be completing my food tech coursework or hey whilst were on the subject hows about starting the coursework but nevermind. Hopefully this'l be more productive. Dont hesitate to review...

The usual copyright stuff about characters and JKRowling's wonderfullness...

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"Hey Paris…"

"Yeh?" She replied twisting round to look into his face, silence pursuing as his eyes scanned the room for something. Anything.

"...Err… you dropped your quill," he stammered, as she eyed him suspiciously. Her favourite quill, the only one in fact that she hadn't broken was currently causing her immense pain, as the nib pierced her skin through the side of her bag.

"Thanks," she said cautiously as he bent down to her feet to pick it up. 'Damn,' he thought as he 'replaced' the quill inside her bag, rearranging her transfiguration books to lay them neatly on top.

"Err…Paris," he called as she began to walk away. Rolling her eyes, she turned to face him, again.

"Yes Sirius," she called back, her face blank and unreadable.

"Erm… have you seen the portrait of the fat lady recently?" he asked innocently.

"Oddly enough," she replied with an element of intrigue settling in her unusually high voice. "I saw her this morning!" she laughed, her tones dripping with sarcasm, her eyes widening. "Actually, when I saw her, I thought to myself, I must tell Lily! After all, such a phenomena only happens, what… once every hmm… _2 hours?!_" stressing her final words as she turned and attempted once more to walk away.

"Smooth." He cringed, "Real smooth."

He jogged halfheartedlyalong the corridor behind her trying to avoid various 1st years who seemed to want nothing more than to be knocked over by the one and only Sirius Black. "Hey Paris…"

"Yes?" she questioned, looking back at him. An element of annoyance tinged her mocking concern. Here was the most outspoken marauder in the history of the school, and he couldn'tmanage toget to the point!

"Erm… Did you know that Gringotts was first opened by Leprechauns in 104 AD, but they hide the money outside of the bank, so they were an easy target when the Goblins attacked in 305 AD?" His eye widened, partly with surprise that he could remember such, 'trivial' occurrences, partly because he'd only used one breath and was panting as he chased her down the corridor and partly because he wished that he would just pass out and avoid the concequences of whatever he had just done. Even he wasnt exactly sure what 'It' was.

"Sirius," she said,eyeing him critically. "I told you that!" She rolled her eyes.

"Oh…" he began but she cut him short.

"And anyway, 205 years on from 104 AD is 309 AD, not 305, not that its THAT important, but still, if you're gonna do …well whatever it is that you're doing to me, to Lily, then she's gonna want you to at least get the dates right..."

He blinked, as she periodically recalled and corrected everything he had told her. She broke away mid-sentence as she realise that her words were simply washing straight over his head.

She left him staring in to the portrait of a young woman behind where she had been standing moments before. Failing an act to appear oblivious to the conversation before her, she gave Sirius a grave look and shook her head briefly before disappearing out of her frame.

"Paris…" he called, yet again.

She sighed, before turning to see Sirius's blank face once more. "Sirius?" she replied, hoping that if he did in fact have a reason for doing this, that he would get to it soon, preferably before the bell rang.

"…can I borrow a quill?" Resisting the urge to roll her eyes she walked away shaking her head in amazement.

"It was good to have a full class again," Minerva thought to herself as Paris silently appeared at the door closely followed by Sirius Black, both sporting a look of sheer confusion. Automatically seating themselves next to their counterparts, Paris eyed Sirius suspiciously as Lily unpacked her textbook and inkpot. She passes her quill along the tables until it reached James who looked at it with an obvious look of confusion etched across his face until Sirius retrieved it from him, answering his narrowing eyes with a short shrug.

Taking notes, Paris glanced at her unusually long quill, sparkling in the midday sun, pausing distractedly she muttered, "this isn't mine…"

"Do you have something to add Miss Weiss?" McGonagal smiled sweetly, raising her eyebrows to an unnatural height.

"Oh, erm…no?" She stuttered, guessing that this was the right thing to say under the circumstances, as stifled laughter issued from a group of Slytherins at the front of the class.

"How about you, Mr Goyle?" she asked, her dulcet tones dripping with distain as she eyed him closely.

James couldn't get over Sirius's distracted attention; mostly because the only two-sided conversation that he had collaborated on was what they hoped would be for dinner. Any other day, Sirius would have been the first to retaliate as the Slytherins charmed James's hair to personify, leaving his head entirely bald. As it was, Sirius didn't even notice and when Lily shrieked, he began to look for an escapee spider on which to practice the art of tap dancing. Not only was this surprising due to them having completed that art two months previously, but also in Charms with Professor Flitwick, and not in Transfiguration where the candle which he was suppost to be transforming in to a bottle of butterbeer was lying intact on the table in front of him. Need less to say; he thought something might be wrong.

Lily watched amazed, as Paris managed to use her quill to enchant the sunlight from beyond the lake and make it dance gleefully upon her parchment. It was of course just a trick of the light, or the mind… or some other easily explainable coincidence that happened to coincide with their transfiguration lesson.

It was only when her incantation backfired and she ended up with half a burnt out candle and a lap full of butterbeer that she managed to drag her eyes away from the scroll to notice James very close shave (if you'll excuse the pun) with the Slytherins.

She screamed.

Minerva stared in disbelieve at the students in front of her. Obviously there were some pupils who couldn't expect much more than an exploding candle or an empty bottle from. But not these four! Lily had recently lost her parents, but that had so far only made her more dedicated to her studies. And as for Sirius! He didn't arrive with James, which was surprising in itself, but he was also looking past Paris, through the window and attempting to drink his failed attempt at transfiguration.

Something was very wrong.

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Don't forget to review!!

xxx


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